God
works when I write. I say that as humbly as I can, because He's mostly working
in me. It's why my blog has become a type of journal for me. It's why I choose to post these blogs. God is
teaching me new things. These new things are wonderful and I want others to
know about them too. So I write and I post. It's a new season for me.
I've
been breathing for twenty years now and last night a new thought enter my head.
My twentieth year of life has been filled with many seasons. I don't mean
seasons like Fall or Spring or garlic. I mean like life seasons.
Eight
days after my twentieth birthday, I made the decision to ask Molly Erikson to
enter into a relationship with me. All the way from the land of Madagascar, she
said yes. So began the first romantic relationship of my life and the first season
of my twentieth year.
We
made God the center of our whole relationship. He blessed us. He changed us
weekly. He blew our minds. I will always remember that season as blessed, but
it was also trial filled. We were thousands of miles apart from each other for
seven months, but we only grew closer through the trial of distance. In this
time God gave me a season of growing love.
At
the same time, I began a twenty credit hour semester at Nebraska Christian
College. In the midst of my heavy school load, I also did my best to lead the
5th and 6th grade programming at my church, Thanksgiving Lutheran in Bellevue,
Nebraska. God gave me success, but I made many mistakes in this season. Time constrained
me. I wanted to be perfect, but I couldn't reach that goal. I fell. I stumbled.
I stressed. But God showed me that the world did not depend on me. God gave me
a season of learning to fail and trust Him.
Then
a week before finals I decided to ride a new mountain biking trial and I found
a fifteen foot drop-off/jump. I had to try to land it and I did... on
my shoulder. I broke my collar bone and I could not move without intense pain
for six weeks. So began a season of learning God's love did not depend on my
works.
 |
| Caution? Psh. Caution is for boys. I'm a man. I'm riding off that cliff! |
A
couple months later, thank God I could move my arm again! My beautiful Molly
had finally come back to the US. I remember seeing her tear stained, exhausted
face as she walked toward me in the airport. Her face glowed with beauty I had
never seen before and I got to hug her for the first time. So began one of the
best and shortest seasons of my life.
In
five short days we found the joy of God in holding hands, experiencing life,
and, my personal favorite, praying together. On day one, we went on our first
official date. On day two, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. On days
three, four, and five we found that we knew so much about each other. On day
six, I left for India... So began a season of new engagement, God given love
and longing, and a new world.
I'm
still in that season. I would be lying to you if I said that this season is
without trial. None of the seasons I have described were without trial. All of
them stretched my faith, soul, and heart in some way.
In
the present I long to see my fiancé's face again. I crave to eat the food I'm
used to. I would love to understand everything that is going on around me. But
this is a season.
Though
tears fall from my eyes, though my heart hurts, and though I may at times be uncomfortable,
I know God will change me. I recognize that, like the seasons before it, I will
never regret this season.
My
thoughts and emotions feel convoluted right now and it may have bled into my
blog, but I'm not worried about it. This blog is always for God, then for me,
and then for you in that order. I hope you enjoy, but, if not, that's ok. :)
I
don't have a great conclusion for this blog either because this season is not
over. But I know one thing: whether I fail or succeed, fall or stand, die or
live, God will be glorified in this season.
Amen.
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